No gays in the military! There are myriads of reasons that gays must not be allowed in the military and that the 60,000 now serving should be discharged.
1 Gays may attack people in the shower. Gays, even the women, are instatialble sexually and are constantly cruising for sex.
2 Gays may attack straights while they sleep, unable to defend themselves.
3 Gays often drug people and perform hideous acts on them while they are unconscious.
4 Gays would be unable to kill someone they are attracted to. And they are attracted to almost everyone of their sex.
5 There is no way to protect innocent children in an occupied territory. Gays are sneaky, cunning liars, and most gays are pedophiles.
6. Gays have a sickening cologne smell. Think of the horror of being with one in a bunker or on a plane. People would be sick to their stomachs and could not do their jobs.
7 Limp wrists do not allow for good aim.
8 Gays do not know how to use common tools, such as the wrench.
9 Gays can easily be blackmailed.
10 By being covertly murdered by other military, they would add to the number of casualties.
11 Gays would insist on discos with go-go boys.
12 Gays have debilitating stress if they cannnot shower and use a hair dryer every day. Thus, they would not function on the battlefied when worried about their hair and odor.
13 Gays would tie up all the phones on weekends calling their mothers.
14 They would constantly attempt to convert straights to gay.
15 Fear of spiders and bugs would make them ineffective in the trenches.
16 They would decorate the barracks with frilly, effeminate decorations and want to give everyone a make over.
16. God hates gays, and he would no longer be on our side. Not only that, but also he would punish us with hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, droughts, floods, locusts, and allowing terrorist attacks.
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Comments: 46
Can we get a survey as to which of these reasons to kick them out have actually been subjects of serious and multiple complaint?
Unfortunately there aren't many clues in this post which would make it clear that the intent was humorous. Plus, some members may take offense even knowing that you aren't serious...or are you?
To me it is quite obvious that I am being silly and poking fun at the reasons people give against gays in the military.
Leo,
I didn't report (flag) your post, but perhaps I am one of those 'non-thinkers' you refer to. If I hadn't read the comments on the thread, it wouldn't have been clear to me whether you were being humorous or not.
...and some may easily take offense at the humor.
Leo dont feel like the Lone Ranger I had an article flagged earlier and have seen several others flagged.
And some should learn how to use the back button on their browser.
Lori,
Hopefully the person that reported this post didn't only do so because they disagreed with the message, or didn't get the humor.
However, if you substitute any other minority for the word 'gay/gays' in the above, a case could potentially be made for censure.
Unfortunately hate speech is one area that Gather doesn't have clearly defined in their policies.
Funny how gather runs in cycles.
You wont see any flags for months then someone get a hair up their ass and flags everything.
i agree, kevin.
Um-m-m-m... Kevin? You DO know about Leo... right?
Chuck,
I do know...but evidently the person that reported this post likely doesn't. However, from a TOS perspective, content must be taken at face value as you can't (and shouldn't) rely upon a person's knowledge of the publisher to determine whether a policy has been broken.
Back to your post, the reason it sounds so spooky is the rhetoric of the psychos is very, very similar.
Yes, they would LOVE to have this be their reasons for not repealing don't ask, don't tell! LOL
hope you have a great day
God bless you
sister amy
I clicked on the subject line, ready to give you heck, until I started reading. Too funny!! I have to send this to a male friend of mine whose boyfriend is in the military. He's going to love it!
Hahahahaha!!
Great post; one of the best ways to deal with madness is to not take it too seriously :) ...E
I did think that #9 is probably still true sometimes. As long as there is money, promotions, respect, whatever to lose, there will be some who succumb to blackmail. As time goes on and the public gets more accepting, that will be less true. However, the military isn't known for its liberal ideas.
I tend to equate it with diabetes. There are many diabetics in our group of friends and family. If they don't tell us, we have no way of knowing. Many diabetics don't even know it themselves.
Based on the Military rules of how we treat the sexes the following logistics are the ones presenting the nightmare problem:
Straight men and straight women must not cohabitate for one of two reasons:
Invasion of privacy by opposite sexes NOT attracted to each other.
Opportunity for sexual activity of those opposite sexes who ARE attracted to each other.
Gay men may not bunk in with other gay men for the same reason straight men and women are not allowed to bunk together. Privacy and sexual opportunity,
Gay men are not allowed to bunk in with the women because opposite sexes are not allowed to share sleeping quarters.
Gay men are not allowed to share quarters with straight men for the same reasons we don't let straight men bunk in with the sex THEY are attracted to which is straight women.
Gay women are not allowed to sleep with the gay or straight men because men and women are not allowed to share sleeping quarters. Gay women are not allowed to sleep with other gay women because that's their sexual attraction pool and it would be unfair to let them bunk in with their pool of candidates when we don't let straight men and straight women bunk in together.
THIS is JUST the tip of the iceberg.
So what it comes down to because we can't let anyone:
Bunk in with the opposite sex regardless of orientation
And we can't let people who are attracted to the same sex bunk in with their preferred sex it MEANS
Gay crowd must be given private quarters NOT to isolate them, but to NOT give them any advantages in the sex department that are denied the straights. Making sense so far?
BY that token if you really want to piss off a bunch of straight people tell them that they are required to sleep 80 to a tent and have no privacy because they are straight while the gay people get their OWN personal private quarters because they are gay.
So in order to NOT show favoritism, because in the military they operate by the standard "one of these is treated JUST like the OTHER" then EVERYONE would be entitled to private quarters.
There are plenty of gay people in the military. And frankly NO ONE really gives a rats patootie what they do or who they do as long as they don't do anything that violates the sexual harassment policies and they do their jobs. Replacing the don't ask don't tell with a policy to cover gays isn't practical because it's the military. No one is obligated to coddle anyone's preferences gay or straight. BUT if we mess with don't ask don't tell, someone has to develop a policy to address "what do we do with the people who want to run around being openly gay in the military when it comes to housing and tent and dorm room assignments?" Either we want to spend our money fighting a war or getting OUT of a war or we want to focus on this craziness of repealing don't ask don't tell - - which when the logic problem is solved - - at the end of the day would REQUIRE every single person in the military receiving private living quarters. We simply can't afford it.
So while this may NOT be a popular look at it - - it's the brass tacks. It all boils down to how much money do we want to spend to make sure no one gets their feeings hurt or their human rights violated. And do we need to spend that kind of money on the account of a minority of people in the military when the Majority of the military are inadequately protected JUST to do their jobs?
Because trust me - - it comes down to ONE QUESTION: Where do the gay soldiers sleep. And the answer by default and logic dictates? He/she sleeps privately. In the military THAT right is reserved for 05's and above. THIS is the wrench the repealing of the don't ask don't tell throws into the mix.
If the collective problem-solving skill of the United States government can't manage to figure out how to do it, maybe they'll check with the governments of Canada, or Australia, or Slovenia and ask for a little assistance.
This article popped up in the "similar articles" group. Thought I'd revisit. Still funny.